Passing
Thoughts: Fear and Loathing on Valentine's Day
by T.W. Winslow
Valentine's Day is just around the corner and for many of
us men this is one holiday we could do without. Not because we're
against romance necessarily, we just aren't very good at it.
Of course there are exceptions to this rule, but for most of
us men Valentine's Day is like a car wreck - something which
we'd rather avoid. But like our annual tax bill, Valentine's
Day comes once a year whether we like it or not.
Don't get me wrong, if we men were more capable in matters
of the heart, I'm sure this would be a day we'd look forward
to. But sadly, this usually isn't the case. Think of it this
way; a man giving a Valentine's Day gift is much like him trying
to hammer a nail blindfolded. Occasionally he'll hit the mark,
but most often it will result in an unpleasant experience.
Each year we men struggle to come up with what we believe
to be the perfect Valentine's Day gift. And more often than not,
each year these offerings of love are met with less than wild
enthusiasm from our partners. How were we to know such things
as a new iron, blender, toaster, vacuum or dishwasher were not
the ideal Valentine's Day gift? Or giving such things as a treadmill,
aerobics video, or jogging outfit would not be interpreted as
our saying "I love you" but rather, "Honey, your
thighs look like cottage cheese." Maybe the women in our
lives, rather than getting irritated and upset by our feeble
attempts at romance, should simply take pity on us.
Perhaps we men have some strange genetic defect that hasn't
yet been recognized by medical science. Or it might be Cupid's
fault. Perhaps when he shoots his arrows of love at a couple
he hits the woman's heart, but inflicts some sort of massive
head trauma to the male involved. There must be some rational
explanation for our lack of romantic flair. Why else would we
men think the only purpose for candles is emergency lighting
during power outages? That ambiance is some kind of bottled water?
Or that loves notes are what we leave for our partners to let
them know we are out of beer?
Men deserve sympathy, compassion, mercy and understanding,
for when it comes to the fine art of romance, we men are sitting
in our boxer shorts finger painting with our toes. So this year
when you receive oven-mitts adorned with little red hearts or
lingerie even a street walker wouldn't wear, don't get mad at
the man in your life, understand he did the best he could...
all things considered.
About The Author:
T.W. Winslow lives in the Pacific Northwest - USA. He is
a writer and co-creator of United in God http://www.unitedingod.org
10
Creative Ways to Give from the Heart, Not the Pocketbook
by Nancy Twigg
Meaningful gift giving doesn’t have to be expensive.
In fact, some of the most precious gifts are the ones that cost
very little, but mean a great deal because of the time and effort
the giver took in giving the gift. Below you will find a list
of gift ideas that are low-cost but high value. Rather than a
large chunk of change, these gift ideas require you to invest
your creativity and time with only a little of your hard-earned
cash.
* Make a scrapbook of the history of your relationship with
the recipient. Fill it with pictures, mementos and memories from
the past. Include your own heartfelt note thanking the recipient
for the value and warmth she adds to your life.
* Put your artistic abilities to work and create a piece of
art in honor of the recipient. Write a personalized song, do
a painting or sketch, or write a poem.
* Use your computer to make a family cookbook with a variety
of recipes contributed by different family members. Or make a
cookbook of all of your own special recipes to share with the
recipient.
* If you have artistic flair, purchase blank note cards with
envelopes. Decorate the cards with your own drawings to make
personalized note cards for your loved one.
* If you can knit or crochet, make the honoree a new scarf,
hat, afghan or pair of mittens. If you sew, create a new apron,
fleece throw or keepsake pillow.
* Make an “I Love You because...” or “You’re
Special because...” jar. On individual slips of paper, write
something you love and appreciate about the honoree. Place the
slips of paper in a decorative jar. You can also make an “I
Love You” book by writing each thought on a different page
of a blank journal.
* Use a desktop publishing program or your calligraphy skills
to create a wall-hanging featuring a inspirational quote or Bible
verse that is particularly meaningful. If you are handy with
a needle and embroidery floss, do the same thing using your needlework
skills. Display the finished product in an inexpensive, yet attractive
frame.
* For the chocolate lover on your list, fill a gift basket
with several varieties of homemade chocolate cookies, candy,
and brownies. If the recipient loves sweets but is concerned
about weight gain, use recipes for goodies that are low in fat
and calories.
* Make a keepsake video containing something that would be
special to the recipient: her children singing songs, friends
telling why they love her, or you recounting funny stories of
times you’ve shared together.
* Do a week or month’s worth of cooking for the recipient.
Fill her freezer with homemade meals that she can easily heat
and serve rather than having to cook.
Excerpt from Nancy’s book, Celebrate Simply: Your
Guide to Simpler, More Meaningful Holidays and Special Occasions.
Just in time for holiday gift giving -- Use this special link
to get free shipping: http://www.celebratesimply.com/offerNov2003.htm
Nancy Twigg may be contacted at http://www.countingthecost.com
nancy@countingthecost.com. Nancy Twigg is the editor of Counting
the Cost, a free email newsletter about simple and frugal living.
She is also the author of the new book, Celebrate Simply: Your
Guide to Simpler, More Meaningful Holidays and Special Occasions.
To learn more about living simply or celebrating simply, visit
Nancy online at www.countingthecost.com
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18
Great Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day if You Aren't a "Couple"
by Susan Dunn
When we think of Valentine’s Day, we tend to think of
a man and a woman celebrating together. If you aren’t paired
at this time, here are 18 great ways to celebrate Valentine’s
Day YOUR way.
1. Celebrate with a child!
If you don’t have one, borrow one! Invite your niece
over for an afternoon of tea with tiaras and tutus, making Valentines,
and reading Valentine’s books. Got a boy in your life? How
about some slap-jack or Pente, video games and a candle-lit dinner
with fondue – to keep those hands busy! Nice red catsup
is good enough for the sauce!
2. Give a party at a children’s shelter.
The Volunteer Director is trained to help you! Simple refreshments,
favors, plan a game, tie-dye t-shirts, crafts, play the piano
and sing. It’s the thought and the companionship that count.
Games? Play musical chairs, tying big red bows to the front of
the chairs. Pin the Lips on Ms. Valentine – draw “her”
on posterboard – use moving eyes, false eyelashes and pipe
cleaners for hair. Put each kid’s name on a pair of red
lips cut out of construction paper with tape on back. Blindfold
them with Valentine scarf and proceed! Valentine Bingo –
make bingo cards with Valentine items instead of numbers to call.
Use February theme to increase number of items – groundhogs,
Presidents Lincoln and Washington, candy, hearts, doves, lovers,
Valentines, etc. Serve “Love Potion” for the beverage.
3. Make it a special day for someone in a retirement or nursing
home.
Put on that bright red sweater and your Valentine tie - $12
and it’s perfect, red with white hearts; or Taz in love
and red braces available here and head on over! One friend of
mine takes something he bakes called Terribly Naughty. I believe
it has pecans, peanut butter, chocolate morsels, marshmallows,
butterscotch pieces, pure butter, at least a pound of sugar,
and brandy in it. He's very popular!
4. Have friends over for a Valentine's Party.
Sing love songs, watch a video, make an outrageously beautiful
buffet spread. Have everyone bring a grab bag gift. Have a poetry
contest. Romantic songs list here.
5. Call up your son and daughter-in-law and tell them you're
coming for the weekend to take care of the kids so they can go
celebrate.
Bake Valentine’s cookies with the kids and have a red
dinner – red jello hearts, heart-shaped pasta with tomato
sauce or heart-shaped pizza, Hawaiian punch and cinnamon hearts
in hot cocoa. “Willie Wonka” video, everyone gets in
the big bed with Nana, snuggle-time, dogs included. Woo hoo!
6. Celebrate with your animal companion.
There's no more reliable source of love in our lives.
7. Bake some homemade dog biscuits.
Recipes here. Take your dog for a special outing, and on the
way, drop off your treats at the local animal shelter.
8. Take your animal companion with you to a nursing home or
convalescent center.
Many facilities are making this opportunity available for
their guests. You can deck your dog, cat, ferret or rabbit in
a festive Valentine scarf for the occasion. Red vest, tie, bows,
boas! and click here for other festive wear for your small furry
friend.
9. Enjoy the day helping others.
A local place of worship might be building a house for Habitat
or going Valentine caroling at a housing project. If not, why
not? If not you, who?
10. Book a Valentine cruise on the Costa cruise line and dance
the nights away.
Be a gentleman host, or dance with one! Gentlemen dance hosts
"work" from 8 pm to 1 am every night, visiting with
and dancing with women cruise guests. Great vacation for singles!
Gentleman, don’t forget your red cummerbund and bowtie.
Wait til the last minute when the rates go down really low.
11. Have friends over for a Valentine Day Brunch.
Make pancakes and fried eggs shaped like hearts, serve with
strawberry syrup, fresh strawberries, some nice crisp bacon,
strawberry daiquiris and nice hot tea. Yum! Set a terminally
romantic buffet table and fill the DR ceiling with pink and/or
red helium balloons.
12. Check for special events in your town.
A special Valentine pops concert perhaps?
13. Get away for the weekend and see some great art.
Bath House Center in Dallas, Texas has an annual February
exhibit called "El Corazon," "the heart."
14. Organize something with your civic group.
If the New York Giants can do it, so can you. Last year they
visited patients in Children's Hospital of New York-Presbyterian
on Valentine's Day.
15. Call your favorite aunt or your bratty little brother
and head for “New York in Love.” The Museum of the
City of NY is featuring an exhibit of 19th Century Valentines.
16. Try something zany. The Embassy Suites, Richmond, Va.
Offers the King’s Dominion Package – 2-room suite,
breakfast, reception, indoor pool and Jacuzzi and 2 adult tickets
to go ride that roller coaster! There’s more than one way
to ‘lose your heart’ on Valentine’s Day.
17. The Winter-storm adventure! Ancient Cedars Spa, Vancouver
Island at the Wickannish Inn, situated on a rocky promontory
at the westernmost point of Chesterman Beach, at the gateway
to Pacific Rim National Park Reserve. Enjoy the spectacle of
20’ waves pounding the coast from your room with ocean view,
deep soaker tub, and fireplace for optimum viewing. All spa amenities,
epicurean dining and “the storm-watching experience”.
Slickers provided. Bring along some friends, your pet, and/or
a good book!
18. Feed your heart! Curl up with a good book. “A General
Theory of Love,” of course, by Amini, Lewis and Lannon.
Susan Dunn may be contacted at http://www.susandunn.cc
sdunn@susandunn.cc.
Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™
. Coaching resources, tools and support for your personal and
professional development. EQ Alive! - EQ Coach training and certification.
Susan is the author of numerous ebooks, including "How to
Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence," "Depression,"
and "EQ's Answer to Addiction: the 14th Step." She
is widely published on the Internet, a syndicated columnist for
WebProNews and Family-Content, and a regular speaker for cruise
lines. She offers home study programs through her distance learning
school.
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History
and Traditions of St. Valentine's Day
by Michelle Gonzalez
Part of the mystery of St. Valentine's Day is the Saint himself.
There are numerous legends about St. Valentine, who is thought
to have died, or been buried, as a martyr on February 14th, around
270 A.D.
Legend tells us that St. Valentine was a priest who served
in third century Rome. Roman Emperor Caludius II wanted to maintain
a great army, and decided that more men would be willing to join,
fight and die for Rome if they did not have to worry about leaving
wives and children behind - so he outlawed marriage. Valentine
defied the Emperor by performing marriages in secret, thus bringing
young couples in love together.
When his traitorous actions were discovered, he was imprisoned,
and eventually put to death. He was subsequently declared a Saint
by the Catholic church.
It is thought that while in prison, Valentine began the tradition
of sending "valentine's". According to one legend,
Valentine fell in love with a young woman, who may have been
the daughter of his jailer, who visited him during his imprisonment.
He wrote his new beloved a letter, which he signed "From
your Valentine", an expression commonly used in Valentine's
greeting today.
Another legend holds that he was so popular with children,
that they passed cards to him through the bars of his cell, and
continued to leave notes even after his death.
Pope Gelasius declared February 14th Saint Valentine's Day
around 498 A.D.
Valentine's Day Traditions-
Valentine's Day cards have been exchanged in the United States
since the early 1700's. The tradition of exchanging heart shaped
gifts symbolizes the giving of one's whole heart and emotions
to the one they love.
The red rose, a year round symbol of love, is often given
on Valentine's day. The International Cut Flower Growers Association
estimates that 100 million roses will be sold for Valentine's
Day this year, generally going for between $60-$65 per dozen.
The phrase "wear your heart on your sleeve" takes
its origin from the Middle ages when young men and women would
draw names from a wooden bowl to discover the identity of their
valentine. They would were the name they chose on their sleeve
for a week.
It is common for many bird breeders to use Valentine's Day
as the beginning of the annual breeding season. On February 14th,
male and female birds are brought back together after months
of separation.
Valentine's Day is also celebrated in Mexico, Canada, the
United Kingdom, Australia and France.
So...
This year, instead of giving simply a box of chocolates or
dozen roses, why not write a poem to your love? It will most
definitely last longer, and is guaranteed to be cherished...as
long as you don't begin with "Roses are...".
Happy Valentine's Day!
Michelle Gonzalez may be contacted at http://www.inspiredparent.com
michelle@inspiredparent.com.
Michelle Gonzalez is the editor of both www.youthweekly.com
and www.inspiredparent.com.
A mother of three, she enjoys writing articles as well as poems
and stories in her spare time. Her passions around childrens
literacy and good parenting led her to create her two successful
ezines.
15 Valentine's
Day Ideas for Under $15
by Glenda M Thomas
HOUSTON, Jan. 29 /PRNewswire/ -- Every year advertisers attempt
to convince consumers that the only way to prove their love is
to spend an exorbitant amount of money on February 14th. Yet
most women would agree that real romance comes from the heart
and not the wallet. To that end, Money Management International
(MMI) offers 15 ways to say "I love you" that cost
less than $15.
1. Make your loved one a macaroni necklace and present it
in a jewelry box. Enclose a note that says, "When I am with
you, I feel like a kid again." Then head out together to
do something little kids do for fun -- roller skating, bike riding,
swinging as high as you can on the swing set, go to the zoo,
etc.
2. Head down to your local hardware store and have a key made
with your initials engraved in it; then present the "key
to your heart" to your loved one.
3. Make a list of 101 reasons you love him/her and have it
framed.
4. Collect/make a special photo album of your most cherished
times together with notes on each page as to why that moment
was important to you.
5. Have a mousepad made with a picture of you and your loved
one.
6. Create a scavenger hunt for your loved one that requires
him/her to stop at special places the two of you have in common.
7. Leave a trail of post-it notes directing your loved one
throughout the house to find little treasure (chocolate kisses,
single flowers, etc.) with a short expression of love on each
one ("your kisses are as sweet" or "throughout
the years our love has blossomed and unfolded like the most delicate
flower") leading them to home cooked dinner.
8. Create a homemade coupon book for gifts such as one free
uninterrupted afternoon of golf/football or one evening away
from the kids. Free gift certificates can be found at www.moneymanagement.org/gift
.
9. Splurge on food at the grocery store instead of a restaurant.
Buy fresh lobster, or something that you would not normally buy
and cook it together. Have the dinner consist of foods that are
all either red or white.
10. Make a handmade card using pictures of you and your significant
other and find quotes about love online. (www.toinspire.com )
11. Have just a glass of champagne or dessert at a fancy restaurant
or hotel.
12. Write a poem (or if you are grammatically challenged,
find an existing one) and print it out on nice paper. You can
then mail it to your loved one at work. Or, if you have a frame
with outdated pictures, you can use it to frame your poem and
wrap it as a gift.
13. Tour a free local art exhibit and then have a picnic under
the stars.
14. Purchase a box of children's valentines and hide them
all around the house starting a week before Valentine's Day.
15. Learn to say "I love you" in several languages.
Money Management International reminds all consumers that
they don't have to go into debt to prove their love. "It
is important to keep your head when shopping for your heart,"
explains Rudy Cavazos, director of corporate and media relations
for MMI. "Periodic expenses are the adversary of good financial
planning. Valentine's Day is a perfect example of an event that
typically is not budgeted for." Cavazos advises that consumers
should use cash whenever possible. If a credit card must be used
for Valentine's Day expenses, don't charge anything that cannot
be paid off in three months or less.
About Money Management International
Money Management International (MMI) is the nation's largest
non-profit, full-service credit counseling agency, providing
confidential financial guidance, counseling and debt management
assistance to consumers for over 44 years. MMI helps consumers
trim their expenses, develop a spending plan and repay debts.
Counseling is available by appointment in branch offices and
24/7 by telephone and Internet. Services are available in English
or Spanish. To learn more, call 800-762-2271 or visit their website
at www.moneymanagement.org .
Contact: Courtney Carter or Kim O'Quinn Pierpont Communications
713-627-2223
Glenda M Thomas may be contacted at http://yours.at/sister2sister
sis2sis@earthlink.net. Glenda Thomas has been married for 28
years and is the mother of 3 young adult children, and grandmother
to one grandson (age 2). Glenda is the editor of Sister 2 Sister
Newsletter. She also is a dynamic public speaker.
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Alone
This Valentine's Day?
by Susan Dunn
Valentine's Day can range from annoying to dreadful when you
aren't paired, so let's put a new spin on this!
You probably feel sorry for yourself because you're the Only
One who's alone, but if you're alone you're NOT alone. According
to the American Association for Single people, 82 million men
and women in the United States are unmarried.
If you define adults as those over 18, 44% of US adults are
single. By 2010, it should be 47.2%. That's getting very close
to half. What will we do then? Rename the holiday? Abolish it?
Or will those of us who are single rise up and demand our OWN
holiday? An UNValentine's Day??
Holidays DO disappear, you know. When I was young, we celebrated
May Day. Honestly, you bought Hallmark paper basket kits, you
assembled them, you filled them with fresh flowers and placed
them on your neighbors' doorsteps.
I am not making this up.
But I am digressing.
Back to my point. A LOT of us are single, so you AREN'T alone
if you're alone on Valentine 's Day. If that doesn't make you
feel better, try these things, which will be just a little tongue
in cheek, because I want to ramp you out of your position of
feeling sorry for yourself.
I've tried most of these, BTW, having been single longer than
some of you have been alive, and they work!
This is the old - if you can't change IT, change your FEELINGS
toward it.
FREUD!!!
How could we not mention F-R-E-U-D on the national "romantic"holiday?
Remember Freud's "defense mechanisms"? A common misconception
is that they're all "bad," but actually we need our
defense mechanisms. They're helpful! We need our defense mechanisms
to:
1. Minimize anxiety 2. Protect the ego 3. Maintain repression
a. It prevents discomfort b. It leads to some economy of time
and effort
I'm sure you're with me now that if you plan to, um, GET THROUGH
VALENTINE'S DAY AS A SINGLE, a defense mechanism or 10 might
come in handy.
So here we go.
DEFENSE, DEFINITION & APPLICATION
1. Affiliation: Dealing with emotional conflict and
stressors (hereinafter referred to as "it") by turning
to others for help or support. Valentine Application (VA): This
is a great defense! Call your coach! Commiserate with friends.
Talk to your sweet Mom.
2. Aim Inhibition: Limiting ^instinctual demands^,
accepting partial fulfillment. VA: Invite a platonic boyfriend
out for Valentine's Day and pretend it's all you really wanted.
Who needs mad, passionate sex when you can talk about QuikBooks
for three hours at Chili's, right?
3. Altruism: Deal with it by meeting the needs of others.
VA: Do as I've done. Choose someone to shower with your affection
- a grand-daughter works! Go out and buy all the things you'd
want yourself - perfume, flowers, fluffy pink sweater, do it
up big! Wrap 'em up, carry them over there, take her out and
wine and dine her and savor! Feels great!
4. Anticipation: Deal with it by experiencing emotional
reactions in advance of possible future events and considering
realistic alternative responses or solutions. VA: Well, that's
what we're doing here. We're circumventing a lousy Valentine's
Day, and making our plans otherwise. How cool is that?
5. Avoidance: Deal with it by refusal to encounter
situations because they represent "unconscious sexual or
aggressive impulses". VA: Well, that would be Valentine's
Day. You could cancel your own personal one.
6. Compensation: Encountering failure in one sphere
of activity (like love life?), you over-emphasize another. VA:
Let's do a clean-the-house marathon, or workout for 5 hours after
work Friday.
7. Self-assertion: Expressing feelings and thoughts
directly, non-manipulatively. VA: Go for it! Ask that cute new
HR director out.
8. Sublimation: Attenuating the force of an "nstinctual
drive" by using the energy in other, constructive activities.
VA: So, we work late Valentine's Day, finishing up a primo project,
or go home and write poetry or paint. Good idea?
9. Intellectualization: Deal with it by excessive use
of abstract thinking or making generalizations to minimize disturbing
feelings. VA: We could talk about how nearly half the other adults
in the US are also single, and it ain't so bad. Anyway it's not
bothering ME. How about that?
LET'S AVOID THESE ONES:
1. Conversion: Turn it into a physical symptom "involving
portions of the body innervated by sensory or motor nerves."
VA: No getting of paralyzed arms because you'd really like to
sock your ex.
2. Deflection: Redirecting attention to someone else.
VA: Don't need to talk about "Loser-boy Tom." We can
deal with our own stuff!
3. Identification: Unconscious modeling of one's self
upon another person. VA: Sandra's got a great husband and she's
going to Quebec for Valentine's weekend, but that doesn't mean
we have to dress and talk like her all week without "being
aware of it"
4. Displacement: Change in the object by which the
"nstinctual drive" is to be satisfied. VA: Having been
abandoned by your boyfriend, resist all urges to vent your anger
on your room-mate! Keep your people and your emotions straight,
ok? (EQ course available.)
5. Help-Rejecting Complaining: Requesting help and
then rejecting it. VA: (I think that's whining, and playing the
victim, don't you?)
6. Acting Out: Dealing with it by actions rather than
reflections of feelings. VA: Don't get crabby and kick the dog,
or go out and get drunk.
7. Projection: Attributing one's thoughts or impulses
to another person. VA: No, your mother isn't mad at YOU, YOU'RE
mad at your GIRLFRIEND. Keeping people and feelings straight
again.
8. Regression: Suffering the loss of some of the development
already attained and reverting to lower level of adaptation and
expression. VA: None of that!
9. Autistic Fantasy: Deal with it by excessive daydreaming
as a substitute for human relationships, more effective action,
or problem solving. VA: This is why we all hate Freud!!
Defense mechanism definitions from: http://www.coldbacon.com
P.S. Work in an office? Send yourSELF flowers. Like half those
other girls aren't doing that?
Susan Dunn may be contacted at http://www.susandunn.cc
sdunn@susandunn.cc.
Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™
. Coaching resources, tools and support for your personal and
professional development. EQ Alive! - EQ Coach training and certification.
Susan is the author of numerous ebooks, including "How to
Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence," "Depression,"
and "EQ's Answer to Addiction: the 14th Step." She
is widely published on the Internet, a syndicated columnist for
WebProNews and Family-Content, and a regular speaker for cruise
lines. She offers home study programs through her distance learning
school.
Matters
of Hearts
by Arleen Kaptur
As soon as February rolls around, everyone is thinking "hearts."
Hearts are the universal symbol for love, affection, and caring.
There are heart-shaped candy boxes, cookies, flower arrangements,
gift boxes, and charms. Children send Valentine's day cards to
classmates and friends and adults show their feelings with notes,
gifts, and special events. Mealtime can also be an opportunity
to use hearts in our table decor. Heart-shaped ice cubes add
just that touch of romance to wine or champagne. Use enough cassis
for color to insure firm cubes. Using your favorite heart-shaped
cookie cutters, place "hearts" of cheese, such as mozzarella,
cheddar, or pepperjack on appetizer platters, or to accent a
meat dish, vegetables, or whatever you choose. For a Valentine
dipping bowl, cut a heart shape around a squash stem and remove
the contents. Fill with your favorite dip and surround with your
choice of dippers. Heart-shaped cutters can be used to make sandwiches,
cookies, bread slices, and cucumber slices. Heart-shaped pancakes,
and heart-shaped cut outs on the crust of your favorite fruit
pies add delight when that special day rolls around.
If you don't have heart-shaped pans, fill paper or foil lined
muffin cups half full of batter. Tuck a 1/2" foil ball or
marble between the liner and the cup to form a heart shape. Bake
your cupcakes as usual. When mealtime rolls around set your table
with red, pink, and white table covers, and napkins. Tie red/white,
or red/pink yarn around silverware held in colorful napkins.
Place a candy kiss or heart-saying candy on each plate or pass
a bowl around and let everyone pick a candy note. In paper-bag
lunches, slip in a message, or a special treat. Visit a special
person and make them feel loved and cared for.
However you celebrate Valentine's Day, don't let the feeling
pass with the day. Carry a pocket-full of "hearts"
and share them with everyone. ENJOY!
©Arleen M. Kaptur 2003 January
Arleen Kaptur may be contacted at http://www.arleenssite.com
akaptur@centurytel.net. Author of books and articles on living
a simple, rustic lifestyle - and getting the most from each and
every day.
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Excerpt
from "How to Choose the Perfect Gift for the Woman You Love"
by Susan Dunn
“Excerpt from the new eBook Released Just in the 'Nick'
of Time: How to Choose the Perfect Gift for the Woman You Love’,”
The flareup was immediate. "I'm writing a book called 'How
to Choose the Perfect Gift for the Woman You Love,' I told my
friend Sam, and he replied immediately, "If any woman doesn’t
like what I get her then…” and his voice trailed off
in… what was it? Anger? No I think it was more eternal frustration.
I could tell he’d been bloodied, and he was, in fact, married
to his second wife.
Now I've been single many years, so I've spent many Christmases
in the homes of others, married couples included, and I've seen
a lot of the same old thing -- waring blenders and vacuum cleaners
bringing tears, stonewalling, or profanity. NO WOMAN WANTS AN
APPLIANCE.
Uh uh, it's not that easy. My ex mother-in-law preferred potted
plants over fresh flowers ("too wasteful") and asked
for, received, and was thrilled with various things made of steel
and wire that whizzed, banged and whirred.
Your goal, you see, is to understand not “women,”
but YOUR womAn. Maybe that’s a relief, maybe it isn’t.
Now I'll share a secret with you. I was having a chat with
a friend of mine the other day who said, "I just don’t
understand men." She was in a relationship I couldn’t
comprehend, and about to do something career-wise that made even
less sense. In point of fact, I did not "understand women."
At least I didn't understand the one drinking coffee with me.
So how do you get to "understand" that one special
lady?
Rule No. 1: You PAY ATTENTION.
"Okay," you're probably saying. "That's easy
enough."
No, it is not. This is what I mean when I say PAY ATTENTION.
You listen to her like you would if your lawyer were telling
you you were being sued for $1,000,000.
You focus like you would if your teenage son were telling
you his new Hummer was now at the bottom of Lake Michigan.
You watch her like you watch the quarterback sneak when you’ve
bet $500 on the Cowboys, it’s the last quarter and they’re
down 13-6.
You hang on her every word as you do when your CFO is telling
you you’re not going to make the quarterly projection again.
You tune in like you would when the Chairman of the Board
asked you to explain the last point.
That's what I mean when I say "pay attention and listen
to her."
Now that concept’s clear, in the next chapter we’ll
address just exactly what it is you’re watching and listening
for, and it isn’t the way her long blond hair swings from
side-to-side as she walks through the room, or the way her silk
nightie drops beneath her knees.
What we'll be aiming for is this. When she says, "That
dog's going to have to go. It won't do what I say," you
stop and think before you speak. You use your Emotional Intelligence
because, after reading the next chapter you're going to be getting
the cues that this is a very important conversation you're about
to enter into that has little to do with the dog, other than
the fact that you may be sleeping with him that night, not her.
Carry on until next time!
Susan Dunn may be contacted at http://www.susandunn.cc
sdunn@susandunn.cc. Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, cEQc,
The EQ Coach™ . Coaching resources, tools and support for
your personal and professional development. EQ Alive! - EQ Coach
training and certification. Susan is the author of numerous ebooks,
including "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence,"
"Depression," and "EQ's Answer to Addiction: the
14th Step." She is widely published on the Internet, a syndicated
columnist for WebProNews and Family-Content, and a regular speaker
for cruise lines. She offers home study programs through her
distance learning school.
|
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Extend Your Love this Valentine's Day : Gifts
for Your Animal Companion
by Susan Dunn
Valentine's Day is the day we celebrate love, and who gives
you the most consistent unconditional love in your life? This
Valentine's Day, extend the love.
THE HEART BOND
There's an Indian myth. When the world was created and all
the people and animals were present, suddenly there was an earthquake.
It started to rend the world in half, splitting the people from
the animals. Just before the split became too great to navigate,
the dog jumped over to be with man.
We feel intuitively that we have a special bond with dogs,
cats and other mammals. There's a scientific basis for this as
well, and it's called a "limbic connection." Read more
about this in "A General Theory of Love" by Amini et
al.
HOW THIS WORKS
Our brain is really three brains: the reptilian brain, the
limbic brain, and the neocortex. Automatic instinctive processes
are controlled by the reptilian brain, also known as the brain
stem, such as breathing, and heart beat. We think, as only human's
can, with our neocortex.
The limbic brain is the seat of our emotions and we share
this with mammals. We share a limbic connection with them - we
send emotional signals back and forth. We need this connection
to thrive.
Our intuition that life is better with a dog or cat, ferret
or rabbit in the house is backed by scientific study after scientific
study. People heal more quickly from heart attacks if there is
a dog in the home, moreso than if there's another human in the
home. Being with a pet lowers our blood pressure, and pets are
egalitarian: The mere presence of a dog will lower the blood
pressure of an ailing senior, a healthy college student, or a
child reading a book alone in a room.
THE HEALING CONNECTION
We're recognizing this bond and its mutual healing power through
the growing fields of Animal-assisted Therapy, and Animal Communicators.
The Pacific Animal Therapy Society offers an active animal
therapy program, bringing pets to hospitals, retirement homes
and other facilities where residents benefit from interaction
with animal companions.
Dog-Play.com also offers animal assisted therapy. An animal
visit offers entertainment, distraction from pains and infirmity,
and comfort.
"People often talk to dogs, and share with them their
thoughts and feelings and memories," they say. A visiting
animal companion provides something to look forward to, and makes
conversation easier between two strangers, giving a common interest
and a focus for conversation.
The Pet Therapy Society of Northern Alberta offers the "PAWS
in the Classroom" program, an animal-facilitated learning
experience for special junior high students, where students learn
about human and animal relationships, including intra and inter-species
attachments and bonding, the benefits and responsibilities of
involvement with pets, and behavior development principals.
THE HEART-TO-HEART CONNECTION: ANIMAL COMMUNICATORS
Mammals are equipped to communicate with us, though the means
are non-verbal. How does this work?
We communicate with each other all the time by intuitive and
nonverbal means. We sense how someone else is feeling, or 'know'
our boss is sick, or detect a sad tone beneath the cheerful words
of our spouse, or get a chill down our spine when someone enters
the room. Extending this more intentionally to our animal companions
can be joyful and healing for all concerned, and this is what
Animal Communicators do. This growing field helps pet owners
make a stronger connection with their animal companions.
Valentine's day is a celebration of love, and who gives us
the most steady and unconditional love in our lives?
Here are some suggestions if you want to celebrate your love
for your animal companion. Great ideas to give to the animal-lovers
on your list, too. Remember the old saying, "Love me love
my dog"?
GIFT SUGGESTIONS FOR VALENTINE'S DAY
1. Gift your special someone with a deeper connection with
their beloved animal companion. Animal communicators such as
Georgina Cyr, and Jacquelin Smith, offer consultations in pet
communication and healing.
2. How about a great heart-shaped dog or cat bed?
3. This gifts packs a double wollop - a Valentine toile and
chenille dog bed by Companion Road. A portion from the sale of
all Companion Road items is donated to charities to assist local
animal shelters.
4. How about a sharp red doggy or ferret t-shirt with Xs and
Os all over it?
5. PetCo offers a whole Valentine's store for pets - heart-shaped
catnip, bone buddies and more!
6. Give them a gift membership to the Divine Prayer Line for
Animals.
7. All Natural Dogs offers vitamins, supplements, holistic
products, homeopathic remedies, and natural food for dogs.
8. Need something for a ferret or rabbit?
9. Try the high-flying Crackler Moth for the cat-lover, from
Blue Pet Co., UK.
10. Get a carrier pet-pocket for their small cat, dog, ferret
or rabbit here.
11. Love Bites! Heart-shaped doggy biscuits.
12. Valentine's scarves for for dogs or cats.
13. Bake some homemade dog biscuits.
14. Canine Sweet Hearts(tm) available here - red-colored,
heart-shaped corn and wheat-free vanilla or Carob flavored treats.
15. Make a donation to the Humane Society in the name of your
loved-one or their animal companion or yours.
This Valentine's Day, extend your concept of love! We need
to give, receive and express all the love we can.
Susan Dunn may be contacted at http://www.susandunn.cc
sdunn@susandunn.cc.
Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™
. Coaching resources, tools and support for your personal and
professional development. EQ Alive! - EQ Coach training and certification.
Susan is the author of numerous ebooks, including "How to
Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence," "Depression,"
and "EQ's Answer to Addiction: the 14th Step." She
is widely published on the Internet, a syndicated columnist for
WebProNews and Family-Content, and a regular speaker for cruise
lines. She offers home study programs through her distance learning
school.
|
Unique
Ideas to Celebrate Valentines Day this Year
by Heather Diodati
Want to celebrate Valentine's Day in a different way? We've
collected a bunch of unique ideas - special ways to show how
much you care about your spouse, family members and friends you
cherish.
Heart-Felt Valentine's Meal
Make up a batch of heart-shaped pancakes for a yummy Valentine's
breakfast or brunch. Just pour the batter in the frying pan in
a free-form heart shape and serve with strawberries and whipped
cream.
Balloon Goodies
Insert candy surprises into balloons before inflating them
- add a folded-up Valentine's message then inflate each balloon.
Tie with a red ribbon and attach to your loved one's chair for
them to find Valentine's morning.
Family Affair
Have the children help you prepare red Jello with cinnamon
hearts mixed in, mashed potatoes colored with pink food coloring,
heart- shaped cookies and any other creative ways to present
your Valentine's Day meal.
The Gift of Time
Give a hand-made coupon for some work you can do to free-up
some time for your spouse or parent. For example, a coupon good
for cleaning Dad's garage or for a full-house vacuuming for your
wife. How about a coupon for your best friend - you can walk
her dog or baby sit one evening.
Coupon Day
Each of you can create individual notes, say 4 or 6 each,
to describe a special surprise - a back rub, a bubble bath, kisses
from head to toe, a special meal - fold up the notes and toss
them into a jar. You can take turns having fun plucking a coupon
from the jar and doing what it says.
Scavenger Hunt
You can prepare this one for your spouse or for your children
to enjoy. Write up little notes about how you feel and what they
mean to you and place them around the house along with a candy
heart or other treat. Add a riddle at the end of each note about
where to find the next note. At the last note, have something
special waiting there. For example, you can be waiting for your
hubby in a candle-lit bubble bath with two glasses of wine. For
your children, then can find a teddy bear or other toy or treat.
Less Fortunate
Visit a hospital or chronic care home to pass out small Valentine
surprises to the residents. They will enjoy the care and attention
from something so unexpected.
Alone?
No one special to share Valentine's Day with? Sure you have!
You! Why not pamper yourself with a candlelit bubble bath, then
prepare your favorite gourmet meal and rent the latest comedy
video. Or treat yourself to a day at the spa, or a day at the
gym with a step or aerobics class. Plan for Valentine's Day at
least a week in advance - you'll find yourself looking forward
to your special treats and your quality time with yourself, by
choice.
Picnic Fun
Place a blanket on the floor near the lit fireplace with candles
on the mantle and have your Valentine's meal as a candle-lit
picnic with a bottle of your favorite bubbly.
Italian Romance
Some soft Italian love songs on the CD player, a luscious
Fettucini Alfredo with a bottle of your favorite Italian vino,
then some fresh canoli from the pastry shop and cups of amaretto-
flavored coffee for a taste sensation - top it off with a sensuous
scented bubble bath for two
A Cereal Surprise
Sneak in love notes and chocolate kisses in your sweetheart's
or children's cereal
Notables
Little notes in their lunch boxes, on the bathroom mirror,
in his briefcase, stuck on the car windshields, in his underwear
drawer
I'm fortunate to have you!
Mix up a batch of fortune cookies (see http://www.whimsies-online.com/valentine.htm
for recipe!) and add your own little words of love
Messy but Marvelous
Make sure you wear old clothes for this one and plan this
escapade where cleanup will be easy (no carpets, please!) Make
up a batch of chocolate pudding. Feed each other and wind up
having a food fight! Ideally, this is more fun in your birthday
suits, then the pudding won't go to waste where it lands! Guaranteed
for loads of giggles between the two of you - take a shower-for-two
after this one and wash each other's chocolate-flavored hair!
Take a Letter
Take turns writing a love letter or love poem to each other.
Read them out loud
Valentine Sharing
Plan some community work - help out at the local shelter,
volunteer at your local church, work with other volunteers to
spread some caring amongst your community.
All in the Family
Spend some quality fun time with your niece or nephew or other
child in your family.
Long-Distance Caring
Call your favorite aunt whom you haven't seen since she moved
far away, or your best friend who transferred to another country
- let them know you're thinking of them this Valentine's Day
Just For You
Have you wanted that delicate pair of earrings for awhile
but kept putting off the purchase? Give yourself a special Valentine's
Day gift
Poetry In Motion
Write him or her a poem - can't write? Try out the poem generator
on http://www.whimsies-online.com/valentine.htm for fun! Print
out your creation and place it on your loved-one's night table
for when they awake!
Heather Diodati may be contacted at http://www.whimsies-online.com
info@whimsies-online.com. Heather Diodati, owner of DDesign,
is the creator/distributor of the Pet Computer Virus, a novelty
designed for the computer user;cas well as other unique computer
novelties; and Whimsies! Personalized Cartoon Designs for all
occasions. Sign up for our free ezine, On A Whim, for your free
Memory Jogger System; and if you looooove ballroom dancing be
sure to subscribe to Dancing On Air ezine, for your free gift,
The Dancer's Notebook! http://www.whimsies-online.com
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Helping the Family with a Deployed Member During
the Holidays
by Susan Dunn
If you know a family with one of the partners deployed, you're
probably wondering what you can do for them during the holidays,
and perhaps eager to include them in your celebration.
Let's use for example if the husband is in Iraq. Most military
wifes have been prepared for "something like this"
-- it goes with the territory. Chances are they're very self-sufficient,
know how to cope, and have good support. But if you'd like to
include them during the holidays, here are some suggestions.
Offer to watch the kids for a day, or half-day, so the wife
can have some time to do some holiday shopping for the kids.
A lot of babysitter hours get logged, which is also expensive.
Remember the serviceperson! They appreciate getting mail (generally
takes up to two weeks) and gift boxes. Send fun things and "toys,"
baked goods, something 'of the season,' something you'd like
to receive if far from home. CDs are also a good idea, and the
hometown newspaper.
These days most servicepeople can keep in touch with family
by email, so when the family arrives at your home, you can ask
the children, "What do you hear from your Dad?" or
"Has your Dad told you what it's like?" or "Has
you Dad sent you anything?"
Digital photos are possible now, and the children may want
to tell you about that. Ask them to print some photos out and
bring them when they come! Most of the time they're very aware
of what their dad is doing.
Experienced friends know not to ask, "Do you know when
he's coming home yet?" If it were known, they'd be shouting
it from the rooftop!
And, as a long-time holiday guest in the homes of others (joint
custody), there are two things that are especially neat.
One is to be given a little packet of leftovers to take home.
It's so nice to be able to have a turkey sandwich that night,
or even a whole little meal -- the one thing you miss when you
don't do the meal yourself!
And the other is when someone asks me over because they want
me, not because they think I need the invitation!
Susan Dunn may be contacted at http://www.susandunn.cc
sdunn@susandunn.cc.
Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™
. Coaching resources, tools and support for your personal and
professional development. EQ Alive! - EQ Coach training and certification.
Susan is the author of numerous ebooks, including "How to
Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence," "Depression,"
and "EQ's Answer to Addiction: the 14th Step." She
is widely published on the Internet, a syndicated columnist for
WebProNews and Family-Content, and a regular speaker for cruise
lines. She offers home study programs through her distance learning
school.
How
to Have an Emotionally Intelligent Valentine's Day
by Susan Dunn
Every time Valentine’s Day comes along, I think of the
day before Valentine’s Day a couple of years when, as I
was leaving the card and gift shop where I’d selected some
Valentines, while cursing the materialism dictated to us by Madison
Avenue that demanded the expression of feelings with store-bought
cards and boxes of candy, mourned the fact that I had no “honey”
at the time, thought of the cards I should and should not have
received on past Valentine’s Days, and worried if I was
spending too much or too little ...... the shop owner called
out, “Be careful driving, Susan. There are a lot of angry
lovers out there on the road today.”
It’s coming again, Valentine's Day, and with it a lot
of emotions. It’s also a day you can organize, if you sit
down and think about it, using both your IQ and your EQ.
INTENTIONALITY
How do you intend your Valentine’s Day to be? Intentionality
means saying what you mean and meaning what you say, and it also
means being responsible and accountable for your motives as well
as your actions.
If your intention is to express your love to someone in a
meaningful way, this might include thinking about what means
love to them. It could be a toaster oven would be greatly appreciated,
a poem you’ve written, a kiss on the cheek, an addition
to their collection, a power tool, something very gushy or not
very gushy, a night of dancing, or not spending any money because
you’re both over budget.
At the same time, how to you intend to manage your emotions?
If you take an honest look at the situation, here are some
intentions you might have:
- Do you plan to be upset over what happens?
- If you’re single, do you intend to “let it get
to you?”
- Do you intend to be disappointed in what your lover gives
you, as nothing is good enough?
- Do you intend to keep your expectations in line with reality-testing?
- Do you intend to express your needs, as no one can read your
mind, no matter how much they love you?
- Do you intend to spend more than you can afford to and then
feel guilty?
- Do you intend to compare yourself, or the gift you receive
to others’?
- Do you intend to agree to choose your boss’ gift for
his wife even though this causes negative emotions for you?
- Do you intend to let someone else “do” Valentine’s
for you, or do you plan to be personally involved in your gift
choices?
- Do you intend to be a perfectionist and feel that whatever
you buy is wrong, and whatever you do isn’t right?
You could intend to love yourself and enjoy your day!
Intentionality is tough stuff and it means business.
ACCOUNTABILITY
On the more pragmatic level, there are things that need doing.
If you intend to observe the day by remembering various people:
· Write out your budget · Make a list of people
you wish to remember · Start writing down ideas for each
person · Remember there’s a whole slew of merchants
out there willing to make this easy for you – use the Internet
and the telephone · Start early to avoid pressure ·
Plan ahead how you will resist all the last-minutes “specials”
coming your way that you know you can’t afford
Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday this year. That’s
something you need to know. This means you can send last-minute
floral arrangements, and it means that restaurants are going
to be absolutely packed on that night, and that babysitters may
be hard to come by. Plan accordingly!
Planning is the key to experiencing the joy of Valentine’s
Day. It’s your day and you can have it your way!
Susan Dunn may be contacted at http://www.susandunn.cc sdunn@susandunn.cc.
Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™
. Coaching resources, tools and support for your personal and
professional development. EQ Alive! - EQ Coach training and certification.
Susan is the author of numerous ebooks, including "How to
Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence," "Depression,"
and "EQ's Answer to Addiction: the 14th Step." She
is widely published on the Internet, a syndicated columnist for
WebProNews and Family-Content, and a regular speaker for cruise
lines. She offers home study programs through her distance learning
school.
|
How to Plan a Valentine's Party
by Susan Dunn
First decision: date and time. Your best shot for getting
lots of guests is to pick a not-prime time. Try something the
Saturday before Valentine’s Day, for instance, or Sunday,
the day after. Also an off-time, such as brunch of lunch instead
of cocktail or evening party. Check to make sure “key players”
can come. Also a time when you’ll have the week before to
do the work.
Guest List
Write down whom you want to invite and take a count. This
determines everything from cost to venue to refreshments.
Where will you have it?
Your home? A romantic outdoor patio restaurant? A restaurant
with a fireplace and strolling violinist? The rec room at your
apartment complex? If you’re going to rent, call ahead and
find out how many people they can accommodate, if the place is
available that day, how much it will cost, what’s included
in the rental fee, and what other services are available. If
you’re renting a place, go there and talk to the catering
decorator, walk around and take a tour. Questions will occur
to you that might not otherwise:
Can you bring your own food and drinks?
What about decorating?
Are there separate fees for room rental, security, maintenance,
waiters, insurance, etc.?
How’s the parking and public transportation. This can make
a big difference in your guests desire to come, for instance
on a rainy night.
What’s the theme? Well, Valentine’s, but romantic?
Light-hearted? Formal? Casual? Choose your theme and then plan
your tablecloths, tableware and dishes, glasses, decorations,
invitations, party favors, music.
Schedule of Party “Events”
Plan a time for mingling, with drinks and hors d’oeuvres
before a dinner – that’s how people “warm up”
If you’re having honorary speeches or some such (20 minutes
is plenty of time to allot for this), allow time afterwards,
because the conversation will be primed
Provide music for background according to the tone of your
event – rock band, romantic piano, harp, etc.
Now coordinate what you’ve decided on so far Make sure
time, place, theme, and cost all gel. Here are some adjustments
you can make
Hard liquor, mixed drinks are expensive. If you’re having
lots of people, switch to beer and wine, or make an alcoholic
punch.
To cut costs, try something thematic like a bottle of Valentine
wine, that is, from the Valentine Vineyards, in Southern Mendocino
County. The labels on the wine are cool for a Valentine’s
Party!
You can buy party trays at Sam’s or at Local Fancy Catering
Boutique or you make them. Making them is probably going to cost
more than Sam’s, but it has it’s virtues, Caterers
can be very pricey, but then there’s no work for you to
do.
Ordering a beautifully decorated cake is a good way to handle
dessert for a crowd. It brings everyone around, is festive, and
easy to manage.
Music can be live (more expensive) or your radio or CDs (no
cost).
Will you want a maid? The day before to clean? The day of
the party to help serve and clean up? Or both? (Be sure and check
out her uniform. You could provide a cute Valentine’s apron
for her.)
Need a bartender? Also check on his uniform. You don’t
want any surprises.
Arrange for photography – stills, candids, videos, a
professional photographer?
Decorations – floral arrangements are probably the most
expensive, but they can sure dress up a table.
You can go to a party store and look around according to your
theme, if you’re going with paper goods.
If you have your own china, crystal, etc. start planning how
to get it clean and shining and ready to go.
If you want to purchase permanent tableware, visit a store
like Tuesday Morning and see what they have. (Tip: Shop right
after Valentine’s this year and see what they put on sale!
Then you’ll be ready for next year.)
Elegant doesn’t have to be more expensive People instinctively
cut back when the goods are pricey, i.e., f you serve Beluga
Prime from Caviarteria in New York (price $750/lb.), your guests
won’t be expecting to make a meal of it, and who can eat
more than a dab of caviar anyway? If you’re providing Krug
Clos du Menil from Sherry-Lehmann in New York ($1,400 a case),
no one’s going to be chugalugging it. Tell them it’s
Kobe beef (up to $500/lb.) and they’ll be too horrified
to ask for seconds. Make Julia’s Child classic chocolate
cake, all of 1” high, and one small sliver suffices even
the piggiest eater. It’s richer even than a Starbuck’s
brownie. These things titillate your senses other than raw hunger
and so are very satisfying in another sort of way. Have a classic
piano in the background, and people naturally move into refined
slow-motion.
However, if you’ve got bins of queso dip and tortilla
chips, everyone will have that belly-up-to-the-car approach to
the buffet table. If JC and the Sunshine Bang are cranking it
out, well all impulses are on “go” and all inhibitions
are on "low".
Brunches are quite economical! Call those pancakes crepes
– no, really, it’s a separate recipe and divine, but
nonetheless basically flour and water. Serve a light fruit punch
or Bloody Mary’s, some bacon and sausage, a light salad
- green or fruit … won’t cost much at all. I recommend
Julia Child’s crepe recipe, and definitely the flaming orange
crepes. They nearly put your tongue to sleep, and again, these
things are so “rich,” no one wants more than a taste.
A little trick thrifty hostesses learn!
Entertainment Live entertainment adds a really special note
to a home party. Local talent is probably available that isn’t
expensive. Check with universities, colleges, high schools, and
churches – the choral directors, the music or dance department.
Check the yellow pages. There may be several children’s
dance groups, and they are always charming, because children
can do no wrong, entertainment wise. Check the ballet and tap
schools and see if you have a boys’ choir.
Make decisions and book it. Also get a babysitter for the
kids – or send them all over to your sister’s with
a sitter over there. Book your hair and nails. Send out the invitations.
(Want to do something cute online? Try here: www.evite.com .)
Put all your “details” in a notebook. Add notes afterwards
with tips for your next party. That's how we learn!
Start cleaning, cooking ahead and freezing, getting glasses
out, and cleaning the farther corners of the house.
The little touches These you tinker with as time and money
allow. It's for fun. Look on the Internet for things like Valentine’s
candles and Valentine’s soaps for your guest room, a Valentine’s
wreath for your door, maybe a heart-shaped doormat. These are
little touches you CAN add, not things you MUST have.
If it’s in your home, always have something hot to serve
that’s in the oven as the guests arrive and smells divine.
Tip: Always use candlelight if you can. It hides a multitude
of “sins,” i.e., dust bunnies and carpet stains, and
sets a gentle ambience. Even the most white-glovey diva is disarmed
in soft lighting.
If you want a good turnout, do your PR work. Talk up the party
with friends as you see them, or give them a call to see if they
got their invitation. Drop a hint about the Clos du Menil, or
the Big Band. Tell them you've got a group sitter for the kids.
Ask them for suggestions. Get them involved and committed.
That should get you started.
P.S. This is the year you're going to be good to yourself.
Wouldn't that dog be happier in the kennel overnight?
Susan Dunn may be contacted at http://www.susandunn.cc
sdunn@susandunn.cc. Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, cEQc,
The EQ Coach™ . Coaching resources, tools and support for
your personal and professional development. EQ Alive! - EQ Coach
training and certification. Susan is the author of numerous ebooks,
including "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence,"
"Depression," and "EQ's Answer to Addiction: the
14th Step." She is widely published on the Internet, a syndicated
columnist for WebProNews and Family-Content, and a regular speaker
for cruise lines. She offers home study programs through her
distance learning school.
|
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Taking Care of Your Heart
by Arleen Kaptur
On Valentine's Day, we are proud to wear our hearts on our
sleeves, on notebooks, gifts, and anywhere we want to add a touch
of how we feel. Love is the word for the day and even children
join in the fun with heart-shaped cards, candies with catchy
phrases and boxes (heart-shaped, of course) that hold chocolates
to give to mom, dad, grandparents, and everyone they love and
care for.
Valentine's Day is a wonderful opportunity to show our feelings,
our hopes for the future, and our fond memories of the past.
It should also be a day that we show our love for who we are,
where we came from, and where we intend to go. Wait a minute
- loving yourself can go to extremes. We can lavish great luxuries
on ourselves, much to the boredom of friends and those close
to us, or we can feel guilty about caring about ourselves. There
is a happy medium - a point that we can touch on that will let
our heart know we care about the person it is beating for, and
let our family and friends know that if we care about ourselves,
we are well equipped to care about them.
How do you show that you care about yourself without become
pompous and have an attitude? Well, reaching out to others expands
the circle of people you know, bending a little to help others
gives our rigid standards a bit of elasticity so we can appreciate
the feelings of others, and stooping to help those who are down
for the count actually makes us taller and our own outlooks brighter.
Opening our hearts to those around us just gives strength to
that "ole ticker" and letting even a stranger know
that there is room in this world for each and every one of them,
gives your space a bit more dimension. You see, whatever you
do to and for others will rebound. This, however, is not a health
hazard. It will make your life better, your hopes richer, and,
not to mention, like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, that size
5 heart will stretch and expand to size 10, 20, and really there
is no boundary. This, however, is not a health hazard. Your heart
will be healthier, stronger, bigger, lighter, and capable of
loving more with each endeavor. The more you give of it, the
more you get back. If you were in the business of finance, that
is a solid ground to build a future on.
Whatever you do this Valentines Day, or the day before or
the hundreds of days after, be good to your heart, and reap the
rewards of loving and living in a world where there is room for
everyone, and we can each have our own "space." The
fountain of love never goes dry, and the mine of diamonds and
gold never runs out of precious metals, and even outer space
is not the limit to what people can do once they get started.
Love yourself enough to love others and ENJOY!
©Arleen M. Kaptur 2003 January
Arleen Kaptur may be contacted at http://www.arleenssite.com
akaptur@centurytel.net. Author of books and articles on living
a simple, rustic lifestyle - and getting the most from each and
every day. Websites: http://www.arleenssite.com
Valentine's
That Are Sure to Impress
by Michael Webb
If you are going to celebrate Valentine's Day, I suggest you
do it with a little forethought. I cringe every t |
Last Minute Gift Ideas
